Saturday, May 11, 2013

God Made A Mother









God had said --

I need someone to get up at midnight and scoop the most fragile of humanity close to her warmth and rock though she can hardly stand and nourish though she’s mostly sleep-starved and change the diaper and the sheets and the leaked on, leaked through, and leaked down clothes though she’ll have to change them in the morning and next week and that won’t change for years.

So God made a Mother.



That God had said I need somebody with a strong heart.
Strong enough for toddler tantrums and teenage testing, yet broken enough to fall on her knees and pray, pray, pray.
Someone who knows that in every hard place is exactly where you extend grace, who looks a hopeful child in the eye and says yes, even though she knows every yes means a mess but this is how you bless, who has the courage to keep letting go because she's holding on to Me.
So God made a mother.



 
God said I need somebody who can shape a soul and find shoes on Sunday mornings and get grass stains out of Levis.
And make dinner out of nothing and do it again 79,678 times, and keep kids off the road and out of the toilet and in clean underwear and mainly alive though she’s mainly losing her mind and will put in an 80 hour week by Wednesday night and just do one more load of laundry.
And one more sink of crusted burnt pots.
And keep on going another eighty hours because raising generations matters and weaving families matters and tying heart strings matters and these people here matter.
So God made a mother…






It had to be somebody who could comb back pigtails and tie up skates just-right tight.
Who could pretend she remembered algebra and how to get home from here and that really, she was just fine, that it might just be the silly onions.
Somebody who would run for the catch, jump on a trampoline and play one fierce game of soccer and not give a thought to all those labors and her weak pelvic floor. Somebody who’d stay up late with a science project that never ends, who’d get up early for the game in the rain, somebody who’d wave at the door until the taillights were out of sight and still be smiling brave.
So God made a mother.








 It had to be somebody willing to keep loving when it made no sense because that’s what love does.

Somebody who knew that patience is a willingness to suffer.

That joy is always possible because there is always, always something to be thankful for.

And that life is not an emergency but a gift -- so just. slow. down. There are children at play here and we don’t want anyone to get hurt and the hurry makes us hurt.






 Somebody willing to feed and lead, lay down her life and pick up her cross, give of her time because they have her heart. Someone who knows that we all blow it — and what matters is what we then do after.







  Someone who could humble herself into the tender sorry that covers a multitude of sins.
And who’d bow her head at night over the girl asleep with the doll in the crook of her arm — and thank her Father for this hidden life that’s the turning gear for the a whole spinning world. 





So God made a mother.


I am so thankful for my children. The journey of this life with them by my side has been nothing short of amazing. They teach me, guide me, and love me. I stumble and fall and they give me reason to dust myself off and get back up again, God gave me the ultimate gift when he blessed my life with these two. So this year on Mother's Day I am celebrating you both! 


Thank you Ann for this amazing post. After a tough week, this really touched me. Please read Ann's post it in its entirety here. She has included her own photos and her commentary on God Made a Farmer as well.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

How?

 How?
This is a common word.You hear it often. I am sure many of us use it every day. But for me so much of every day begins with how. The first word in each thought. Every question I find courage to speak out loud. In every aspect of my life...how?
How will I make time? How will I get everything I need to done? How will I be a good mother to my children? How can I be a good wife? How can I divide myself between my two children that I gave birth to and the son who became mine when I was married? How can we become a "family"? How can I make my kids understand? How can I show my step son that I DO love him? How can I make up the deficit that his  mother has created? How can I be a mother to my children and know my boundaries with my step son? How can I hold back the way I mother, when a child is not receptive? How do I hold back myself to this boy?  How do we move forward? How do we get off this roller coaster? How do we find a happy medium for all of us? How do I get through to the people who need me most without losing my very self? How do I do this...all the while, trusting God?

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Reflections

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I have decided that I want to do a  post for myself on reflections of the last couple years of my life. I vowed to close that door and not go back, but I feel like God wants me to reflect. I think He wants me to see where I was, where I have come, and where I am going. So these reflections are for me. This first one is reflecting on how much things have changed in two years…
When I look back over the last few years I stand amazed. Who I am now. Where I am now. If you would have known me 2 years ago you would not have believed it was possible!
Two years ago abuse and pain from my past  had settled into my soul threatening to break me. Two years ago my marriage was crumbling. Two years ago I was broken. I was so broken that I felt there was no fix. Depression had settled into every part of my being and the only thing I could think was that I wanted this to be over and I didn’t know how. So I begged God. Nightly. I begged him to please to please take me from this world as I slept. But He didn’t. You see His plans for me were far greater  that I could even fathom from the depth of the darkness that had settled into me. And today I am so grateful for that. I am grateful for his love and His mercy. I am grateful that He knew that though this valley was low and my world was dark, He had a promise to lift me from that valley and place me on the mountain top and shine his light on my life. And I am so thankful. I am so thankful for the love that He breathes into my life. I am thankful that my marriage has been healed. I am thankful that I wake every day to the love of my children. Sometimes I want to pinch myself to make sure that this is real. God I thank you for it all. I know that I am nothing without You. I see You in all things. And I am so thankful that You are ever present. Thank You God for hearing the cries of my ugly heart and reaching into it and making it new and beautiful in You! Thank you God for knowing the plans You had for me. Thank You for knowing far more than I could comprehend.
While this is just a small testimony of God’s grace and mercy in me….I look forward to finding the words to share my reflections in a way that gives Him all the glory!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Happy Birthday Christopher

Today is your 12th birthday! I can’t believe how fast you have grown and what a big guy you are these days. I am so proud of you and the young man you are becoming. I am so thankful that God gave you to me…who would have thought I was worthy of such an amazing gift. Entrusted with such a big responsibility. Or maybe it was you who had the responsibility? To show me what love really was, to teach me how to be unselfish, to give me strength and courage? That’s a lot for a little guy. But you have done it all! I knew real love when my eyes met yours for the first time. Life was no longer about me…it was about us. And you will never understand the strength I drew from you when life was unkind. Every year I get sad that you have grown so much, but this year, while I am nostalgic for baby days, I am proud! I am so proud of my son! You amaze me EVERYDAY! Watching you grown and learn takes my breath away!

You still have so much to learn. And not everything in life is fun. Or happy. And I think you are learning this already. But no matter what keep on being you. Stay true to yourself above all things. You have the world at your feet. You can go anywhere and accomplish anything. And I will always be your number one fan. When you need a laugh, when you need to cry, or when you just need a hug….you can always count on your Mama! I love you so very much my sweet boy! You will ALWAYS be Mama’s Baby!

Happy Birthday!

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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Time

 

I still haven’t figured out how to slow down time.  It has been close to a year since I posted on here and I am not going to say the same thing I did the last time it had been such a long window between postings. I love my blog and I feel like I have so many things I want to document and share, however finding time to actually put together posts often don’t make it past a thought I have. I think I need so set a small goal and try to post a new post once a week. That would be a baby step. Because now after almost a year I have million things I feel like I could document….and then I drop off the map. So here is to “trying” not to neglect this blog. And making an effort to document the happenings in our world!

So here is a little run down of the last year…

I became a mom of a middle schooler. Yikes! I turned 32. Double Yikes! I have become stronger in my faith. I have struggled with how to be a “mom” to my step son and overcome all of the many issues he has. I have fought hard to be a good wife. I have been a stay at home mom. I have spent a lot of time working on things that I never seemed to have time for before. I have had to learn to share myself…with the 3 children in this house and my husband. Although I feel like I need so much more work on giving my husband time. School is now out. My step son graduated high school! My son is a 7th grader and my baby starts her last year of elementary school…*sniffle sniffle* My other step son is in his last year of middle school. The kids are growing so fast and keeping me busy. But here is to trying to make use of the time I have…..and blog about what I am doing with that time!

 

Clocks

Monday, July 25, 2011

Plastic Spoon Wreath

 

 

I saw this on another blog and loved it! Hers looks much better than mine…I was in a hurry and should have spaced the spoons so much more symmetrically.

 

I used about 55 or so spoons. You can use different colors, but I liked the white against my newly painted walls.

To get started you need  the spoons and a glue gun. It is pretty simple to do!

I tape wax paper to my workspace so that clean up is easy!

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A couple dots of glue…hard to see in this picture.

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And keep gluing!

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It will work itself into a circle. I think that the further you place the spoons the larger the wreath.

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Finished product and so easy. I took ribbon from my bow making stash and made this cute little thing to hang it with!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Safe Racer & Stem Fair

 

It is no big secret that I am one PROUD MAMA! I think I have the two most awesome kiddos ever. They both recently attended the STEM Fair. Caitlyn won from her school for the SafeRacer car. They were to design a car from recycled materials that would safely carry an egg.

Her little car was so cute.She was chosen as the leader for her group of four. Here are a few pictures from the competition.100_2601

Caitlyn and the car!

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Getting checked in…she was the only one there from her group at that time. She was so nervous.

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Testing their car.

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Measuring!

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Final test to see how well the egg is protected!

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Final round!

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Three of the four members! AWESOME job guys!!

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Certificates and Ribbons!!

 

Chris won the First Place in  5th grade Science Fair for his school and was chosen to represent them at the STEM fair! He did such a great job. He had to spend 2 hours away from us being judged and answering questions. Was very proud of him!

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With his project!

 

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Me with my boy!

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3rd place!!!

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So proud!!

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There were so many kids there and I am so proud of Chris for going and doing such a great job!!

 

And here are some pictures we took being silly while waiting between judging!

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The two little loves of my life!

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My husband and love of my life!

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Kiddos!

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Chris and Tristan

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Caity and Tristan

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Me and my kiddos!!

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Showing how big our muscles are!

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A little backwards…but

Hear no Evil, See no Evil, Speak no Evil!